New Iberia, LA
I met Lacy in a truck stop casino in New Iberia, Louisiana. She'd found out earlier that day that her 17 year old son had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. She told me about how he was a good kid and made really good grades. She was upset because he was gonna be the first in a couple of generations to get a high school diploma and instead she was going to be a grandma by age 34. I couldn't help but notice how similar her story was to his.
BW: When did you have your first kid?
Lacy: When I was 16. I left my mom's house and I quit school. I was on the cheerleading squad, in beta, an A-B honor roll student.
I been through a lot of shit in my life. I seen my dad beat my mom til she was almost dead. I been molested 'til I was 13. I can't remember how far back it started. It was three people... two were family. I don't remember the third.
BW: Have you ever confronted any of them?
Lacy: I sure did. I told them, I say, "I forgive you." I had to let them know that I know what they did to me, and to forgive them so that I can move on with my life. I said, "You brought yourself down to a child's level?" That's your fault, not mine. And you know what? I felt so much better and I lived my life. I have four kids. Four boys... boys... I probably didn't get a girl for a reason. I'd put a bullet in somebody's head if they fuck with my daughter.
I been through a lot of shit. That's why I'm a bitch. I'm more aggressive now. Instead of being sensitive... I'm not that person no more. I want to fight.
BW: Do you think there's anyway to get back to...
Lacy: No. Nope.
BW: You don't think you can heal from it?
Lacy: Nope. I miss that person who was sensitive and cared about everybody's feelings, but now I don't take no shit from nobody. To go back to that really insecure person that I was... I know a lot today about the child I was. I was a good person, but you could walk all over me. I guess I got my guard up now. I'm very strong.