Barbara

Barbara

tumblr_njuoauNmmO1rqgmxco1_1280.jpg

Barbara: I went through a lot of childhood stuff. I was the youngest of five and the only girl. I guess I was a trick baby because she was getting high with the dope man when I was conceived.  

Because of my mom’s addiction, I was left alone with four brothers. I’m not able to have kids because I have scar tissue where they used to mess with me. I used to sleep with all my brothers because it was cold and we wouldn’t have no heat. I used to do stuff with them for food.

BW: What do you mean you would do stuff with them for food?

Barabara: I mean… we didn’t have shit. My mom was on dope real bad. My older brothers were able to go out and get food. They had girlfriends and friends they could get food from. So, I was hungry and I’d let them do stuff with me for food. 

That’s why I hate being hungry so much now. I cry sometimes when I can’t get money for food. 

When I was a little older, my mom would let the dope man stay at our house. I think there were times when she would let them come upstairs and mess with me for a couple of hits. My room was right above hers and I know she could hear everything that happened up there. 

BW: How old were you when that happened?

Barabara: Ten, eleven, twelve. Then I started getting high when I was fourteen. 

There were a lot of things that my mom and I never talked about. By the time I  came down here to take care of her, she was clean. I just didn’t want her to feel guilty and stuff. She used to brag about how well my brother’s took care of me. She’d say, “Your brothers took good care of you. By the time I got home they’d have so much [baby] powder on you. They gave you your bath and put you to bed.” The truth is, They put powder on me to cover up all the bruises.

Alfred

Alfred

Paula

Paula