I met Ronnie while he was walking down the road in a small town called Independence, Louisiana, where he was born and raised.
Ronnie: See, I just have a thing for bad boys.
BW: Bad boys? Why are you attracted to bad boys?
Ronnie: I guess because of they badness. It’s a challenge to me.
BW: Well, what was it like growing up in a small town like this, being gay?
Ronnie: My mom loveded me and that’s all that mattered. It was irrelevant to the rest of my family. Society didn’t clothe me or house me or feed me. As long as my mom accepted me, who cared what the world thought?
BW: Was it hard at school? Were you out of the closet?
Ronnie: I was always me. The boys always likeded me. *both laughing*
I never had no problems with the boys. It was always the girls I had problems with. They had envy of me cause all the boys likeded me and I didn’t give a hoot. I had this thing about me and that was it. They didn’t like me because their boyfriends did.
BW: *laughing hard* So you got a lot of action in school?
Ronnie: In high school, college, nursing school. I’ve never, ever, ever had a problem in that department. Even right now… It was never who chose me, it was who I chose to be with.
BW: So, tell me about one of your relationships.
Ronnie: Me and my lover, we liveded together but he was a bad boy. He was a thug. He wanted me and everybody else too. He ended up getting killed because he was running around.
I was working and he wasn’t. That wasn’t a problem for me but when you using my car all day I expect you to be sitting there when I get off work at 3. He started being late more and more.
This one day I got in my car. I would always leave my driver’s license in the console and I kept noticing that he would move it to the visor where it couldn’t be seen. So I get in my car this one day and the first thing I see in the ashtray is purple lipstick. So, I said, “who been in my car with purple lipstick? I don’t wear purple lipstick or any lipstick, period.”
So, the day afterwards I pretend to go to work. I didn’t have to work but he didn’t know that. So, right after he dropped me off, there was my mom to pick me up. I told her I wanted to borrow her car for a while. So, I go where he’s supposed to be and he’s riding somebody around in my damn car. I said, “oh hell no.”
So, I left him. But, like I say, he was a bad boy. He went to prison. He would write me and I’d write him back when I felt like it. But, you know how they got the pin-pals with the girlfriends and stuff? Well, he ended up marrying this school teacher.
I didn’t even know he’d gotten out. I was in the grocery store one day and I hear somebody calling my name. I turned around to look and there was him. So, we talked and he said he wanted to see me for old time sake. You know what I’m saying? We hadn’t seen each other for a long time and just wanted to see if it was still what it used to be.
Now, I didn’t know he’d gotten married. We were supposed to go out that Friday. On Thursday, my sister calls me and says, “Ronnie, guess who got killed last night?” She said, “Dado got killed.” He had died in a car crash. Broke his neck. I pick up a copy of the Daily Star [Hammond, LA Newspaper]. It shows that he married to this white woman and he was driving around with this black woman when he died.
BW: I’m sorry, Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?
Ronnie: Hell no cause when I went to the goddamn funeral home I spit in his face, in his casket! I did that. Honestly and truly.
BW: Did it make you feel better?
Ronnie: I don’t know… It didn’t make me feel better but I told him, “you lied to me. You just no good, even in your grave.” And I left.
But I do miss him in some ways. He was everything I wanted but he was a thug. He was a bad boy!
BW: Did anything positive come out of it?
Ronnie: He was dead and I know where he at. That was a positive thing that came out of it.
BW: *Laughing* No, I mean, like, did you learn anything from it?
Ronnie: Yeah… Not to trust bad boys!
Part of these collections: Coming Out