Mark - Savannah, GA
Mark: Well, I started when I was nine. I was living on the beach, literally. I could go out of the house and be at the dunes in thirty seconds. I met this cat. He was probably eighteen. Good looking surfer dude. He asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint. So, we went in the dunes and we smoked a joint and one thing led to another and we ended up enjoying each other’s company thoroughly.
BW: So, you were nine and he was eighteen?
Mark: Yeah man. Breakin’ the law!
BW: Do you feel like that experience had an adverse effect on you?
Mark: No, not at all. Not at all. No one did anything that they didn’t want to do. I mean, it was his idea, but I coulda’ said no. Nobody tied me down.
BW: But you know, society would say…
Mark: it was a positive experience, you know, because I was very curious and stimulated by other guys. I was stimulated by other guys before I was stimulated by women. I like them both now but at the time, I was churnin’ for guys. So this good looking dude wanted to get stoned with me, he put his hand there, and I was like Okey Dokey, you know.
BW: See the thing is, I had a similar experience when I was around the same age but it was with somebody that was much older. And like, you know, I’ve often wondered if it was the experience that messed with me or the fact that I had so much shame and guilt from being Catholic.
Mark: Was the experience weird? Was it bad?
BW: Well, yeah it was. He took advantage of me. But I wonder, was it the act that messed with me so much or, was it that I had been taught that what I did was so horrible that I couldn’t tell anybody about it?