Ursula: When I was eight years old I was shot up with cocaine and raped by my father.
BW: What? With a needle?
Ursula: Yes, He shot me up and raped me. That was the first and last time I seen my father.
BW: You didn’t know him before that?
Ursula: No, he was sent to jail because he was trying to hurt my mom when she was pregnant with me. He got out of jail when I was eight. The night before it happened, he came over and they were arguing about him coming back into my mom’s life and stuff.
My mom was at work the next day and my brother and I were at home by ourselves. My brother had snuck out of the house, while I was taking my nap. When I woke up, my father was sitting there in my room. He had a rope. He tied me to my bed. I remember specifically thinking “this is not no kids game”.
BW: Did you know he was your dad at the time?
Ursula: Yes, my mom had shown me pictures of the bastard when I was growing up.
It changed my life. I really still can’t let it go. I try my best not to think about it. I try to put it deep in my head. The only people that know that it happened, until now, is my family.
BW: I can’t imagine.
Ursula: *nods*… Right after that, my brother’s father started molesting me. He molested me from the time I was eight until I was sixteen. My brother found out about it when I was sixteen and shot his father twice.
BW: Damn… What happened after that?
Ursula: I’m gonna tell you what happened after that. He [brother’s father] went to rehab to try to change his life, right. And then tried to come to me and apologize for what he did…
I know I’m out here doing crack. When I saw that it took my memory away, I really took advantage of it. There are too many things that I don’t want to remember.
BW: If you could do anything, what would you do?
Ursula: I would sit here and thank God for his grace. Seriously… I’ve been through it out here for six and a half years. I been hit four times by a car. I done been gang raped three times. I’ve been shot, stabbed, burnt.
BW: How can you thank God for his grace when your life has been so hard? To be honest, I’d be pissed.
Ursula: Believe me, through all that I have been through, I should be shot out and crazy. I let go and let God and put everything in his hands.
BW: Thanks for telling me your story. You’re like a little walking miracle.
Ursula: *smile* Woah, man, I can’t believe that just came out of your mouth! That’s so cool that you said that!